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ST PETERSBURG, FL – A Florida man has been accused of burning “smiley” faces on multiple children.
Joshua Mize is a happy guy. And he just wants to spread the smiles.
Literally.
The 21-year-old Florida Man was arrested on September 18th after authorities learned that he had shared a smile with a 5-year-old boy that he babysitting.
Sounds perfectly innocuous, doesn’t it? Hell, compared to the average story on the Demon, sharing a smile with a kid is positively angelic, right? Not the way Mize does it.
He uses a lighter.
Sources don’t say who left the five-year-old in the care of this Trailer-Park-Boys-lookin’ maniac, but we do know that when they got the kid back, he had a smiley face burned onto his right knee. The boy would later tell police that Mize held him down in the living room and used the lighter to give him his new decoration.
What’s more, authorities would learn that this was not Mize’s first attempt at butane-fueled body art.
It seems that, just the day before, he had given a smile to an eight-year-old boy who was left in his care. Right shoulder, this time.
And when police checked further, they found a ten-year-old boy that Mize had babysat three or four weeks ago. He had a smiley-face-shaped “burn scar” on his left leg.
Not being art aficionados, at least not of the involuntary, burny kind, and especially not of the child-canvas movement, police arrested Mize with a quickness. He drew three charges, all for aggravated child abuse with great bodily harm.
He is currently practicing his shenanigans at the Pinellas County Jail, where he is being held under a $450,000 bond. At $150k per smiley face, I think he’s staying put for now.
I honestly don’t know what’s more disturbing: that there’s a guy burning smiley faces on little kids, or the fact that he did it to three different children before police found out about it.
I can hear Bubbles’ indignant diatribe now.
This article was written by Old Man Metal for The Dreamin Demon - the Internet's self-appointed buzzkill.
